How did this happen to you Molly?

I get asked this question almost daily because (almost daily) things just seem to happen to me. I trip over air, I drop 90% of the things that I try to hold in my hands and somehow any unstable ground within a mile manages to find it's way under my feet. Now don't ask me how these things always happen to me. I certainly do not plan any of them. I'm just an accident magnet. Take, for example, the events last Saturday night. We had just finished dinner and I was preparing to go kayaking with my fellow crew member Nicky. In my preparation I strongly debated whether or not to bring my cell phone because, being as accident prone as I am, I knew the likelyhood of me dropping it in the ocean was high, but it was a pretty night and I knew I would want to take a picture or two. So, despite my better judgement, I zipped my phone in my pocket and got in the kayak. About five minutes into my kayak ride I realized my jacket, and with it my phone, had been completely submerged in the water for the entire beginning of the trip. Swiftly, we returned to the lodge and I enclosed the waterlogged phone in a bag of rice. At this point I decided to continue the kayak ride anyways. Had I known then what would occur the rest of the night I would've just called it a night and gone to bed. But I didn't know, so we got back in the kayak and rode out to the logs marking entrance to the lodge.  Once on the logs we fished, to no avail, for roughly ten minutes before the log I was standing on decided to secede from its union with the other logs and break off on its own, Confederate stylez. Because of this secession I was dumped into the water. Nicky was in utter hysterics laughing at the situation I'd gotten myself into (To be fair I was laughing just as hard). Finally, I managed to get myself back up onto the log. The universe was clearly trying to send me a fairly obvious message to get my butt back to the lodge. So I listened. My boots; however, did not. Maybe ten feet further down the log my boots betrayed me and I slipped. Into the ocean. Again. In full view of the lodge house deck where about nine guests where being treated to drinks and a show. I received an obscene, albeit deserved, amount of mockery from this incident.

I don't know how I always manage to get myself into these situations, actually wait, I don't think that's a fair statement. I don't know how these situations always manage to find me. Eight other crew members at this lodge, but somehow everything always seems to happen to me.